By Joshua Wayne, MA

What is the definition of motivation?

“the psychological feature that arouses an organism to action toward a desired goal; the reason for the action; that which gives purpose and the condition of being motivated.”

So let’s pull some key words from that definition and see if we can come up with a useful way to apply the concept to weight loss.

Action Toward a Desired Goal:

Taking action here implies that there is a desired goal in place, so the first thing that you must be absolutely clear on is ‘what is your goal?’ Saying, ”I need to lose 20 pounds” over and over again hasn’t gotten the job done. Just having a number in mind is not provocative enough of a goal. Consider a better question to ask, “Why do I really want to lose weight”? At first glance, this may sound like an obvious question, but if you’re struggling with your weight, you need to ask yourself this question again and again until you have a very clear answer.

Why are you looking to lose weight?

Do you want to feel healthy and energetic again?
Do you want to feel more confident before you start dating again?
Are you down because you don’t fit into your favorite pair of jeans anymore?
Do you want to feel more desirable for your husband or wife?
Do you want to look your best at an upcoming high school reunion?
Did your doctor tell you your weight is a factor in a particular health issue and there is still a chance to turn it around?

You have to become crystal clear on your “Why”. This is the first step in establishing a goal.

Now let’s look at the first half of that equation, the part about ‘taking action’. When you get clear and write it down, how motivated to take action are you? Do you feel your emotions stirring? Are you feeling the pull to get off the couch? Are you feeling the readiness to break your bad habits and make changes to your diet?

If you’re not, then you probably need to do some more work on your “Why”, because your “Why” is the foundation of your motivation.

Here is a hint: some people are more naturally motivated towards pleasure (the thought of looking great in a summer dress, meeting a guy/girl, running a 10K), while others are more motivated away from pain (being single forever, having to start taking insulin, having to see their high school friends while being heavy).

The trick is to find out which one- “Towards Pleasure” or “Away From Pain”- is more compelling to you in terms of your weight loss, and to focus on that. Write down all the reasons that cause you to begin to stir and want to take action. This is just for you, so be bold and write everything down, even if it’s very personal. This is a very important step that cannot be overlooked. Building on your “Why”, what is your deeper purpose behind losing weight? How will your life be better if you lose the weight?

Create a compelling picture for yourself that is rich in detail of how your life will be better.

What will you be doing?
Who will you be doing it with?

Where will you be?
Will the motivation to exercise come naturally?
How will you feel when you’re there?
What clothes will you be wearing- or not wearing?

In case you didn’t notice, all of the above examples were written in “Towards Pleasure” language. But maybe you’ll find that doesn’t work so well for you- maybe it doesn’t quite give you a sense of purpose. If not, how about if you change the wording around a bit? Remember, some people are more motivated “Away From Pain”. If this is you, you’ll be more stirred by this question: “So if you don’t lose the weight, or if it continues to get worse and worse, how unhappy and miserable will you be?”

Similarly, you may want to create a compelling negative picture for yourself.

If you don’t lose the weight, what are you going to miss out on?

What opportunities will you lose out on? Maybe the ability to enjoy healthy time with your family late into your life? How will your health deteriorate if you don’t lose weight? What does the hospital room look like where you’ll have to go for dialysis treatments?

So create a compelling picture for how your life is going to be better if you lose the weight, or worse if you don’t. Cultivate this picture until it gives you a clear sense of purpose. When that purpose is there, you will be much close to taking the necessary action.

Remember, that while uncovering your “Why” and the deeper purpose that motivates you is a first step that cannot be skipped over, we all get busy and stressed, and it’s very easy to lose our focus. At least until you build some positive, forward momentum and get comfortable with your new habits and behaviors, you may have to remind yourself of your “Why” and your deeper purpose again and again every day.

Write down your answers on an index card and put in by your bed stand or tape it to the bathroom mirror. Every morning and every night remind yourself why you really want to lose weight. Remind yourself why you need to begin taking action today, what the payoff will be if you do, and what the cost will be if you don’t.
When you start to exercise do it slowly, it becomes more doable and more enjoyable. In very simple terms, when you enjoy exercise, you’ll be motivated to do more of it. If you approach exercise as a “I have to do 45 minutes of cardio and go ALL OUT!!” you are likely to do less of it. Additionally, there are some simple but powerful stretches that will quickly decrease your physical pain, and boost your motivation and enjoyment of exercise.

The Truth As A Motivator

I would suggest that the most powerful motivator is the truth. What is your truth? And why are you hiding from it? This may be hard but spend a minute really thinking about this question….are you truthful with yourself? Do you take an assessment of your life and really know what’s going on without sugar coating it or emphasizing the negative? Have you taken a picture of yourself and acknowledged, fully acknowledged that you don’t look good – that you don’t look healthy? Have you looked down at your midsection, when you’re sitting down? How much of that bulge is bulging over? Forget about your looks for a second and spend a minute acknowledging the health consequences to your extra slice of pizza. Are you avoiding old friends or maybe your brother because you don’t want to see the looks on their face in reaction to your weight gain? Do your helpful friends even make a comment here and there that would get you on track, but you ignore them? Do you say to yourself, “they’re just jealous. They might be thin, but they’re hungry and miserable. At least I’m full and happy”. Maybe none of these questions resonate with you. But if you focus on the truth, you’ll find the right question inside of yourself, the one that reflects the truth and the key to your motivation.

The Real Habits and Choices of Sustainable Motivation

Until you face the truth, until you face the total reality of your weight, your health and your life, you will not get the real, solid, win-the-race motivation you need. Sure, you might get the one or two day spurts of getting to the gym, or eating within your points, but you will not get what lies beneath….the real habits and choices of sustainable motivation.

Examine and Find Your Truth

When you are ready to begin to lose weight in earnest, group and peer support are the most highly proven methods for success. It is one thing to learn how to lose weight and eat more healthy, it is another thing to put this into practice on a consistent basis. Friends and family are of limited use because there is only so much burden they can bear. Getting the support of an anonymous group of people each day can make the critical difference. Self-monitoring is the other method, backed by volumes of research, that is highly correlated with weight loss success. You keep a log of your food, exercise, goals and thoughts. When you do this each day it keeps you accountable to yourself, and brings this aspect of your life to the top of your mental agenda. When you are writing each day, you are thinking about the things you write about. This begins to change how you think and facilitates better decision making. When you make better decisions, and have a broad support network, you are very likely to lose weight for the long term. When you do both these things, the odds of success increase dramatically.

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